The Sun is a Creeper (Rough Draft)

The Sun is a Creeper

brian rhoads

(Scene begins in a backyard where people are having a barbecue. There are hella people in the background, but only 6 people at this party are talking in this sketch.)

TODD: Thanks again for inviting us, Gary.

MELISSA: Yeah, this is great!

GREG: Thank you all for coming. It's been so long since we all got together.

(As they talk, the Sun is slowly rotating to show his face. The Sun is making a rather awkward smile.) 

CALVIN: Was the last time we all hung out Melissa's wedding?

ERIN: I think so! Wow!

GREG: Well, cheers! To good friends!

(At this point, the Sun is now facing them completely.)

SUN: I'll drink to that!

(The group is baffled and looking around to see who spoke.)

SUN: Nu-uh, you guys.

(Still confused, the group has trouble figuring it out. Erin notices.)

ERIN: Oh my god, you guys. (Pointing to the Sun) Look!

(The group shares a quick scream.)

SUN: Yeah. Sup?

GREG: What... is this?

SUN: I'm the Sun, you guys. You know me.

TODD: Is this really happening?

SUN: Yeah, we are just enjoying a barbecue like normal people... and a giant star that is the center of your entire universe.

MELISSA: I don't know what to even say.

SUN: Oh, is it because all of us stars look alike? Sure, there are 200 billion of us in the Milky Way, but we all have names and feelings.

CALVIN: No, it's not like that. I just think that we never would have expected you to talk?

SUN: Wow, you guys are dicks. You don't think I'm educated? Huh? Well, I'll have you know that I am currently enrolled in the University of Phoenix. So, excuse me.

GREG: So out of the entire universe, you knew we were having a barbecue? I mean, we've never formally met?

SUN: I see you guys all the time! Seriously, I see you all the time. Especially Todd.

(Todd is slightly creeped out.)

ERIN: I don't know if I will be staying long...

MELISSA: Yeah, I'm ready to go if you are.

SUN: No, no, no. I see what's going on. You guys cant handle "one of us" here.

GREG: We are not racist, the Sun.

SUN: Nah, fuck you guys. I'm leaving. This party sucks anyways. Hey, just a little advice: You want people to have fun at your party, don't play Maroon 5. It just shows that you're trying too hard. Alright, I'm out fags.

(Everyone at barbecue is staring to the sky as the sun begins setting. There is a pause, given everyone is still in disbelief. Before it goes dark, Todd speaks.)

TODD: How much do you think he has seen?

(End.)

5 Hour Energy

5 Hour Energy Shot Commercial (Working Title)

brian rhoads

Int. Living Room

Kids run out of the frame as MAN turns towards camera with a slight chuckle. The room is set up like any type of living room you could imagine. An upbeat song is playing in the background.

MAN

Being a stay-at-home dad is pretty tough.

You've got errands to run, chores to do,

kids to chase, and everything in between.

Quick cuts of him doing different activities, like: sweeping, going through mail, bringing in groceries, checking his watch and being slightly frustrated, etc.

MAN

But things need to get done... now. Or else

the big boss lady will find out and I'll be in 

the dog house with this guy!

Shot of a dog with a sound of a whimper.

MAN

Luckily for me, I have "5 Hour Quick Energy 

Shot" to help me get through the day. Whether 

I need to be the maid, the chauffeur, the cook,

or whatever else my step daughters want me 

to be so that they wont tell their mom, I have

"5 Hour Quick Energy" to help me out.

Quick cut to the man sitting at a table (with no music). He has been crying and is staring deeply downward. He goes to take the energy shot and hesitates at first, but then finishes it. Cut back to him in the living room with the music back on. He looks as if nothing is wrong at all.

MAN

Thanks, "5 Hour Quick Energy Shot!"

Shot of logo with fine print with man in background doing something strenuous (like playing "pony" for one of his step daughters while dressed up like a princess).

ANNOUNCER (v/o)

5 Hour Quick Energy Shot, for when

you need energy for rock bottom. Now 

available in stores everywhere.

<<END>>