brian rhoads
(Scene begins in a backyard where people are having a barbecue. There are hella people in the background, but only 6 people at this party are talking in this sketch.)
TODD: Thanks again for inviting us, Gary.
MELISSA: Yeah, this is great!
GREG: Thank you all for coming. It's been so long since we all got together.
(As they talk, the Sun is slowly rotating to show his face. The Sun is making a rather awkward smile.)
CALVIN: Was the last time we all hung out Melissa's wedding?
ERIN: I think so! Wow!
GREG: Well, cheers! To good friends!
(At this point, the Sun is now facing them completely.)
SUN: I'll drink to that!
(The group is baffled and looking around to see who spoke.)
SUN: Nu-uh, you guys.
(Still confused, the group has trouble figuring it out. Erin notices.)
ERIN: Oh my god, you guys. (Pointing to the Sun) Look!
(The group shares a quick scream.)
SUN: Yeah. Sup?
GREG: What... is this?
SUN: I'm the Sun, you guys. You know me.
TODD: Is this really happening?
SUN: Yeah, we are just enjoying a barbecue like normal people... and a giant star that is the center of your entire universe.
MELISSA: I don't know what to even say.
SUN: Oh, is it because all of us stars look alike? Sure, there are 200 billion of us in the Milky Way, but we all have names and feelings.
CALVIN: No, it's not like that. I just think that we never would have expected you to talk?
SUN: Wow, you guys are dicks. You don't think I'm educated? Huh? Well, I'll have you know that I am currently enrolled in the University of Phoenix. So, excuse me.
GREG: So out of the entire universe, you knew we were having a barbecue? I mean, we've never formally met?
SUN: I see you guys all the time! Seriously, I see you all the time. Especially Todd.
(Todd is slightly creeped out.)
ERIN: I don't know if I will be staying long...
MELISSA: Yeah, I'm ready to go if you are.
SUN: No, no, no. I see what's going on. You guys cant handle "one of us" here.
GREG: We are not racist, the Sun.
SUN: Nah, fuck you guys. I'm leaving. This party sucks anyways. Hey, just a little advice: You want people to have fun at your party, don't play Maroon 5. It just shows that you're trying too hard. Alright, I'm out fags.
(Everyone at barbecue is staring to the sky as the sun begins setting. There is a pause, given everyone is still in disbelief. Before it goes dark, Todd speaks.)
TODD: How much do you think he has seen?
(End.)
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